No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
