Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
