I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
