I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
