i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can you bring me the toilet please
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am one with the molecules
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
