Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
