God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
