is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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