He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
