And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
