Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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