Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had sex on a roof
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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