some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize