you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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