u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize