Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
