I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize