buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
