:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
