8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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