I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
