And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its not stalking. its research.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
