wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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