So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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