I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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