My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
