have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
