She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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