nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
