No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
