I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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