No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
