she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
