i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
