Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
