yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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