Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
please don't ironically join a cult
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