Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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