Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish you could order shots online.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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