I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
