He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
last night I used snow as a chaser
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