Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
