the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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