Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
