she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
