spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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