You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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