i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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