never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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