Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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