My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
