this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
