Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
