I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
