That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize