just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
