In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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