Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
