Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
