She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize