Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
