You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think your dad took our porno
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
