So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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