And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
