garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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