Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
