In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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