I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
