ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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