Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she told me i tasted like america
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
