so explain again why im purple
no
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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