Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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