Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I will be naked everywhere
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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